If you’ve followed me for any amount of time on any platform, you may essentially come to the conclusion that I am not someone who needs much. I am simple and basic when it comes to… well, life or lifestyles. I don’t ask for much from anyone, nor do I expect much from people. Of the few things that I do expect, one thing is, I expect me out of others and that’s where I eff up.
Over the last 30+ years, some may have called me stingy when it comes to money. Over the last 5-10 years, I would say that I have been more giving when it comes to money. Reason being, it came to me one day that if I am holding on tightly to what I have, there is no room to receive. So I made the decision to loosen my grip on money and give it more freely. I have always been a giver of my time and talents. Servitude is one of my favorite things to do. I love helping people.
It is truly better to give than to receive and when someone is trying to give or bless you with something, you should take it. What I have learned over these last 5 or so years that I have been giving more freely is that being obedient to giving when you are lead to is the true blessing. You really never know how much that person was blessed and probably in need when you gave them whatever you gave.
Although at this current time, I don’t plan to ever stop being a giver of my time, talents or treasures but I am planning to stop being nice and to start setting more boundaries. My giving season is not over, it’s just being modified. I believe that I have given from the heart but when I reached out to friends and family for a simple task or gesture, I got no response. This bothered me and confused me at the same time. I had to check my heart because I never gave, thinking that one day, if I was ever in need, I could call on the very people that I have helped. I was really under the impression that since I never ask for anything and what I was asking for wasn’t going to take away anything from anyone, that it would be received without a second thought. Again, I was wrong.
Episode 100 was just uploaded to my podcast. To check it out, click here! I had to give my listeners the side of me that they rarely get. I was keeping it 100. I gave DJ the opportunity to ask me anything and I would answer it honestly and openly.
It’s 12:58am and this title/post just came to me. My last couple of posts may have been too deep or negative. Therefore, it’s time for something Angie-like. Something short, sweet, bright and light. It goes without saying that a noun is a person, place or thing. So, I decided to share one thing from each, that I love. My great friend Eric Lewis from IMMA KEEP GOING had something similar on his blog a while back, his “3 Pieces of the Week”. He shared 3 things that made him happy or things that he was into that week. Here are the my 3 things that naturally make me happy. I hope to come back next week with more people, places and things that make me happy.
Person: Me. LOL! Other than God (what picture would I have used for God because…), did you really think that I was going to put someone else as the first person to be featured? Y’all don’t know me very well if you thought otherwise. I know it sounds selfish but I’m serious about me. I believe that I am currently living my best life. I am not traveling or out every night or whatever else one would think living their best life means. I am just more confident and comfortable in my skin, my abilities, my attributes, etc. than ever before.
Thing: Plants. I have always loved flowers but becoming a plant mom has been a blessing. I have a newfound joy for new life. It’s amazing how a new leaf or plant sprouting tugs at your heart. I have had succulents since around 2009 but they are low maintenance and grow too fast to get attached to each new sprout. I received a Guzmania Bromeliad as a present a couple of years ago and doing the research on them and taking care of the first one has been the best gift ever. This particular plant only blooms once then starts to die off but in the process of dying, it still produces baby plants(pups). My mother plant (Pinkie) that I got two years ago is currently producing her last baby. She has given me a good ten plus babies but I can’t seem to keep them alive. It won’t stop me from trying though.
Place: The beach. My favorite place to be. I am afraid to actually count to see how long it has been since my last visit. I am so sad about that also. I will get there soon though. I remain hopeful. It’s only a three hour drive so I don’t understand my delay. The beach is beautiful and peaceful. I am at peace the most when I am there. The waves are untamable. The sand is the friend we all need. It will not let you leave it behind and it will stick beside you. The sun, depending on any given hour of the day, kisses the water like the love of your life. The sounds of God, nature, stillness, crashing waves and people in the distance are far from sensory overload. It’s more like mental, visual, physical, spiritual and emotional stimulation.
Growing up, I never heard the words “I love you” in my household unless a few cases of beer were consumed and even that was usually followed by a laugh or it was said in a joking manner. I knew from watching movies and hearing stories from my peers, that I love you’s, should have been normal and shown with the actual words and actions. I don’t fault my mother for not saying it or showing it in a way that I deemed fit. I just made a choice at a young age to make sure that my future was filled with saying and showing those near and dear to me, that I loved them.
I know it may seem strange or odd for someone who didn’t grow up around love or hadn’t experienced love, to know how to give and receive it but anything is possible. I am not perfect but I learned as life went on, how to love and decided early on that I was open to receiving love. The true credit goes to God. At seventeen, I began going to church on my own to get to know God. In my getting to know God, I got an understanding of unconditional love. God is love. So essentially, know God, know love. That was the key that helped me to get to where I am today.
One of my exes told me that I had a creative love and many people have said that they felt comfort with me. While comfort doesn’t equate to love, there has to be a level of love and softness available for someone else nearby to feel comfort in your presence. I’ve made it a priority to tell those around me I love you on a consistent basis, especially my nieces. I’m still growing and learning but I am grateful daily for God and life lessons that make me greater in love.
I will forever remain open, hopeful and intentional when it comes to the matters of love. My heart will remain full of love. So much so, that there will always be an abundance or overflow of love around me. The love that I am giving myself today will be the same love that comes back to me 100 fold tomorrow and always. Just knowing that God’s love is ever present and unconditional, will fuel my heart for a lifetime and forever after that. I am so glad that I didn’t allow what I didn’t receive as a child dictate negatively how I operated in the future and I love that for me!
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