My NOUNS of the Week

It’s 12:58am and this title/post just came to me. My last couple of posts may have been too deep or negative. Therefore, it’s time for something Angie-like. Something short, sweet, bright and light. It goes without saying that a noun is a person, place or thing. So, I decided to share one thing from each, that I love. My great friend Eric Lewis from IMMA KEEP GOING had something similar on his blog a while back, his “3 Pieces of the Week”. He shared 3 things that made him happy or things that he was into that week. Here are the my 3 things that naturally make me happy. I hope to come back next week with more people, places and things that make me happy.

Person: Me. LOL! Other than God (what picture would I have used for God because…), did you really think that I was going to put someone else as the first person to be featured? Y’all don’t know me very well if you thought otherwise. I know it sounds selfish but I’m serious about me. I believe that I am currently living my best life. I am not traveling or out every night or whatever else one would think living their best life means. I am just more confident and comfortable in my skin, my abilities, my attributes, etc. than ever before.

Just being Angie

Thing: Plants. I have always loved flowers but becoming a plant mom has been a blessing. I have a newfound joy for new life. It’s amazing how a new leaf or plant sprouting tugs at your heart. I have had succulents since around 2009 but they are low maintenance and grow too fast to get attached to each new sprout. I received a Guzmania Bromeliad as a present a couple of years ago and doing the research on them and taking care of the first one has been the best gift ever. This particular plant only blooms once then starts to die off but in the process of dying, it still produces baby plants(pups). My mother plant (Pinkie) that I got two years ago is currently producing her last baby. She has given me a good ten plus babies but I can’t seem to keep them alive. It won’t stop me from trying though.

A few of my plant babies.

Place: The beach. My favorite place to be. I am afraid to actually count to see how long it has been since my last visit. I am so sad about that also. I will get there soon though. I remain hopeful. It’s only a three hour drive so I don’t understand my delay. The beach is beautiful and peaceful. I am at peace the most when I am there. The waves are untamable. The sand is the friend we all need. It will not let you leave it behind and it will stick beside you. The sun, depending on any given hour of the day, kisses the water like the love of your life. The sounds of God, nature, stillness, crashing waves and people in the distance are far from sensory overload. It’s more like mental, visual, physical, spiritual and emotional stimulation.

My favorite beach in Florida.

Sincerely,

I Love That for Me

Growing up, I never heard the words “I love you” in my household unless a few cases of beer were consumed and even that was usually followed by a laugh or it was said in a joking manner. I knew from watching movies and hearing stories from my peers, that I love you’s, should have been normal and shown with the actual words and actions. I don’t fault my mother for not saying it or showing it in a way that I deemed fit. I just made a choice at a young age to make sure that my future was filled with saying and showing those near and dear to me, that I loved them.

I know it may seem strange or odd for someone who didn’t grow up around love or hadn’t experienced love, to know how to give and receive it but anything is possible. I am not perfect but I learned as life went on, how to love and decided early on that I was open to receiving love. The true credit goes to God. At seventeen, I began going to church on my own to get to know God. In my getting to know God, I got an understanding of unconditional love. God is love. So essentially, know God, know love. That was the key that helped me to get to where I am today.

One of my exes told me that I had a creative love and many people have said that they felt comfort with me. While comfort doesn’t equate to love, there has to be a level of love and softness available for someone else nearby to feel comfort in your presence. I’ve made it a priority to tell those around me I love you on a consistent basis, especially my nieces. I’m still growing and learning but I am grateful daily for God and life lessons that make me greater in love.

I will forever remain open, hopeful and intentional when it comes to the matters of love. My heart will remain full of love. So much so, that there will always be an abundance or overflow of love around me. The love that I am giving myself today will be the same love that comes back to me 100 fold tomorrow and always. Just knowing that God’s love is ever present and unconditional, will fuel my heart for a lifetime and forever after that. I am so glad that I didn’t allow what I didn’t receive as a child dictate negatively how I operated in the future and I love that for me!

Sincerely,

Why aren’t People Allowed to Change?

Change is necessary and inevitable.

This will possibly be another post that could be labeled as a rant but again, I have questions. If you saw my last blog post, then you know that I have been tuning in to a dating show on social media by Kendra G. Each time I tune in and the guests are asked the question “Why didn’t you require marriage from that person but you are requiring it now?” I cringe because, are people not allowed to change and/or change their minds? Now I will be the first to raise my hand and state proudly that yes, I have held some people’s past against them. I know it’s not right and sometimes I have looked past what I know someone is historically known for, to give them the benefit of the doubt. They have also proven me right by doing the exact thing that they are known for doing even though the opportunity for them to respond differently was there.

Life teaches us daily maybe even hourly what we like or dislike. We are ever changing and ever evolving people. Even our taste buds change. One day you can love a specific food and then wake up one day and the thought of it makes you sick. Vice versa would be you wake up one day and suddenly want onions on everything and you never liked onions like that before. True story, it happened to me. You can say at 21 that you never want to get married or have kids then meet someone at 25 and decide that you now want 10 kids and a massive wedding. Change is inevitable, solicited, unsolicited, voluntary and involuntary. Most times, life and experiences force us to change.

I’ve had a million conversations about my past and what I did between the ages of 19-29. Things that I wouldn’t even do or accept now. Even things that I did at 30 or even a month ago, I wouldn’t dare do today. I am allowed to say that those things or actions no longer suit me. I am allowed to break a habit and create new ones. The same should be granted to others. If I can change, someone else can also. If I didn’t require honesty or respect from someone in my twenties, does that now mean that in my thirties, I can’t decide that I now want those things from anyone I come in contact with?

As I watch the show by Kendra G on IG, YouTube and Facebook, when she asks that question and people hesitate, they seemingly don’t know how to respond or they’re scared to give their answer. In my mind, I just want to scream and say, because you are allowed to grow, learn yourself and set boundaries and standards. Even on IG, I saw a post about a woman who didn’t require things in her past, that she is now requiring moving forward. The comments were ruthless. It was in reference to things that she once did for people who were not her boyfriend or husband. She now wants a husband but she vowed to not do any of the things she once did because those people didn’t deserve it. The majority of the comments bashed the person for changing up her norm. The other folks commended her and understood her position.

I think that entitlement and audacity is running rampant or maybe it’s on sale. Firstly, who are we to meet someone, ask them about their past and/or find out what they have done in their past and feel entitled enough to believe that because it was done before, it should be afforded to us? Secondly, the same things that we have the audacity to want, ask for or require, are we willing to give? Thirdly, we are allowed to have requirements and standards and we are allowed to make those standards and requirements known to give potential partners the option to say if they can or will meet said standards and requirements. I don’t believe that our requirements should be based on what someone has done before just because we know that they have the capability to do that thing. We don’t know if or how someone was mentally affected by a previous act.

I guess in closing, all I am really asking is, if we can all just live and let live? I can have and set boundaries at any moment I see fit because it’s my right. You can have standards and requirements because that’s your right. I just ask that we look in the mirror and look at the person we are interested in and ask ourselves if we can and are we willing to give what we require? Sounds good?

Sincerely,