It’s Not Always Your Fault, but When it is…

You know the running joke on social media that says, “I’m not rich because my momma permed my hair when I was four.” or “I am single because my momma permed my hair when I was younger.” Essentially, the point of the joke is to blame your mother perming/relaxing your hair on something totally unrelated to a perm/relaxer or your hair.

It’s truly all fun and games until placing blame on everyone else, is a way of life for you. Don’t worry, any one who this applies to won’t recognize it at first. It takes self evaluation and working on yourself to recognize the signs. Some people never get there. Some get there after an aha moment. Some learn it through therapy. The point is to take ownership and hold yourself accountable just as you would do to someone else.

It’s easy, and I mean super easy to point the finger at someone else and point out their flaws and faults but to own up and admit to your own is not the easiest thing to do. I can honestly say that it takes nothing away from you to admit you were wrong or at fault. Your pride or ego may be bruised but the peace and growth that comes from accountability will be worth it.

Story time: Soooo… over the last few weeks, God has been sending me signs that I need to STFU or choose my words carefully. Over the last few weeks, I’ve heard that I am judgmental, negative, think I know everything and a few other things. The consensus I gathered is that maybe I am not the easiest person to talk to. In the days leading up to these comments from others, I recorded a podcast episode and I was venting. After the first recording, I decided to not use that one because I felt like I was too negative and there was a nicer way to say what I said. I recorded it again the next day and my tone was different, all I needed to do was edit and upload it. Well, before I could edit, the revelations, signs and comments started coming in.

Thinking about the podcast episode and there I was, judging people. In my mind, I was thinking I was just venting about what I hate seeing online or in general but the topics I hit on, could actually hurt others. Even though, it’s just my opinion, I decided to not even put that energy out there. Instead, I took a step back and self reflected. I believe that people respect my opinion, it’s most likely my delivery that is off. Maybe it’s too logical, too real, too sarcastic or just plain ole judgmental. At the end of the day, I own up to my fault and flaws and I am working to be a better person. Pray for me y’all.

I recorded another podcast episode (you can listen here) and I am hoping that this goes over well. I am not trying to be a people pleaser or cater to the world, when I just want to be myself and accepted for who I am and not who people want me to be. I have since had reflective moments and reassurance that I’m not as bad as I think I am and those who get me, get me and those who don’t, well, they have or will GTF. My heart and intentions are pure. My self-awareness is present and open to make the necessary changes to be and do better. Each flaw has been accepted and if my flaws are able to be changed, I’ll work on them. If they can’t, I have accepted them and Thank God for them.

I deeply apologize if you have ever felt judged by me. I promise I am in no position to judge, I sin and fall short daily! I am no better than the next person. My intentions are pure and there is no gain for me in being malicious. I can and will admit that my statements, remarks, responses can come off as judgmental and in my human nature, I may default to judging but in my walk, I redirect my thoughts to be more understanding than judgmental.

Sincerely, Angie

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Questions for the Mind and Heart

If you’re at a point in your life where you need a little bit of change or a shift, start by asking yourself some tough questions. Honestly, they don’t even have to be tough questions, maybe they’re just questions that will tug at your heart strings or cause self reflection.

To get the wheels turning for you, I asked DJ (resident podcast guest) to submit questions that he thought would be thought provoking or helpful to one’s life/future. I’m posting the questions as is so I didn’t rearrange the order or wording. Answer them to yourself, in a journal entry or however you see fit. I hope that the growth or change you seek, is on the other side of the questions.

Questions:
1. How long are you going to keep your gifts dormant?

2. Who am I?

3. Am I an architect or a demolition expert?

4. When people leave my presence, how do they feel?

5. What’s causing me to procrastinate?

6. What’s my relationship like with money?

7. What’s your legacy going to look like?

Happy March and happy growing!

Sincerely,

Angie and DJ

Seek Peace and Pursue it

I saw a post a few years ago that really made me pursue and understand peace.

My pursuit of peace started during an almost month long fast and a quest to grow closer to God. Peace was found in that journey, I just didn’t know it at the time. And when I saw the quote, it really helped things to click in my head. I had been told by a stranger that God wanted to speak to me and that I only needed to open my Bible and He did just that. I heard his voice clearly but it was only because I had placed myself in a position to be still, be at peace and listen for His voice.

“Know God, know peace. Know God, know love. No God, no love.”

Getting to a place of peace is a journey and it’s also very personal. The route to peace is for sure a journey but the destination is beautiful. I’m not even going to front like it was or is an easy trip to take. It’s a unique journey that we all should eventually take. It’s also different for everyone. Peace is also something that has to be maintained. You don’t just arrive there and that’s it. It’s an ongoing process because peace may not be 100% feasible in all situations for everyone and for many reasons. But once you reach it, at any level, your only goal will be to maintain it and never losing your place in it.

Finding out what peace is, will require research. Not just the dictionary version of it, but your own personal definition of peace. Google defines peace as:

Peace:

noun

  1. Freedom from disturbance; tranquility.
  2. A state or period in which there is no war or a war has ended.

Based on this definition, two words stick out to me, “freedom” and “period”. Really though, what more needs to be said?! Freedom. (You have to say “period” after freedom to really feel it in your bones. But seriously, at some point, freedom has to come (period!!!) because whatever the opposite of freedom is, can only last for a period. Freedom from self destruction, self hate, self harm, people pleasing, attention seeking, outside validation, boundary-less life style, etc. Your peace, peace of mind, quality of life and well being are all in your hands. No one else should have the power to control your peace. That’s your job and it’s a life long one.

The best part is that once you reach a certain level in your peace journey, maintaining peace is easy work. You will have learned your triggers and you’ll understand when it’s time to set a boundary and bow out gracefully in situations that may threaten your peace. Lets ask for peace, seek peace, find peace and maintain peace in 2024 and beyond. ✌☮