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Thankful for Healing

Sincerely AngieLeave a comment

“There’s only so much healing that can be done in isolation. You have to be triggered by the real world to see if the healing works.” -Crissle

I told y’all a few posts ago that I am finding out a lot about myself in this season of my life. I was always sure of who I was/am. Not in the sense that I can’t learn more about me but I thought that at the core of me, I knew me. Well little did I know, it would be “AI” to show me, that I, indeed have work to do. Deep rooted childhood work.

There’s a trend on TikTok of mostly women, using Gemini(AI) to merge pictures of current them, hugging their younger self. I love me so much that I thought it would be great to see a picture of little me and big me in one picture. Baby, little did I know, little me needed that hug I saw in the picture. Of course it’s AI but I’m a visual person, so, I sobbed. I sat with a friend and shared it with them also and I sobbed even more.

Even though I am the “strong one”, behind these walls, rests someone who is indeed vulnerable and has questions that need answering. I’d say 25 year old me to 41 year old me has life under control. Twenty-four year old me on back, needs a bit of clarity. Forty-one year old me is secure, confident, loyal, at peace, happy, content, growing, learning, living by faith, comfortable, stable, trustworthy and so much more. But there’s a part of me that was triggered by that picture. Now I have to get with her and see why and what she has to say.

You can navigate the world so much better when you are in charge of you, your emotions and your well being. It’s easier to have compassion and sympathy for others when you realize that every day is a journey and everything is not a personal attack. This understanding and knowing comes from learning yourself and having grace. So here I am, doing both, learning myself and giving myself grace. There’s no way you can know that there is a part of you that’s hurting and you do nothing to fix it. Let the healing begin! #HappyHealing

  • Part of this post was written months ago. It wasn’t until recently that I read it and decided that now is the perfect time for it.
  • I read a book on Inner Child Work, you can check it out here. It’s an e-book that was written by my Therapist cousin Arianne Washington with Elite Therapy. Visit https://www.elitetherapy.love/

Sincerely,

Angie

The Last Straw

Sincerely AngieLeave a comment

If you read my last post, I briefly spoke of the last straw. Well, considering Tyler Perry’s latest movie Straw, I figured I’d go ahead on and drop a few lines on Straw and the double entendre of it all.

For the movie Straw, I get it. Women, specifically Black Women are tired and at their breaking point and the next incident to happen, could be the very last straw. The straw that breaks the camel’s back. To summarize in a few sentences or a few breaths, A single mother loses her child, her mind, her car, her job, her apartment, and essentially her freedom, all in the course of 24 hours. And because it was so much happening, all of it was probably not to the extent she imagined in her head. Because at some point, she was merely just existing and not present mentally.

While I pray to never be able to relate to this black woman trope, I know that when it rains it pours. And I don’t know anyone personally or even heard of any one person going through that much trauma in 24 hours. Over the course of a month or year, maybe even a few weeks but never 24 hours. Regardless of the time frame, I understand that life happens and not everyone is built like Job from the Bible. I haven’t experienced the level of trauma that Janiyah(Taraji P. Henson) or many other women have experienced. I also have a different outlook or perspective on life and life lessons.

Most things we encounter are happenstance while others are a direct consequence of our previous actions or seeds we’ve sown. Insert cliche here, “what goes around, comes around” “you reap what you sow” etc. So most times, if something happens, I imagine it’s happening for a reason. I believe that there is a lesson that will come out of the situation. I refuse to be a victim or have a “why me?” attitude. Maybe it’s my faith or maybe it’s my self proclaimed avoidant personality but either way, life is supposed to life. It is inevitable to go through life without some type of hardship. It’s all in how we handle what life throws us.

I am highly aware that everyone’s chemical makeup is different and our balances and imbalances cause us to react to negative things or trauma differently. I don’t expect people to respond how I respond. I accept life’s curveballs and handle them with grace. It’s no one’s fault, it’s no one’s responsibility, it’s mine. Don’t get it twisted, my mind is orchestrating a million scenarios but crashing out, is not an option. This is no shade to the person who does crash out. Our mental bars and/or limits differ per person.

The last straw for me, is just that, the last straw. Now it’s time to make a move, cut ties, sever the relationship, quit the job, move, etc. But what I refuse to do is take out my frustrations on innocent people. I’m not knocking anyone who has done that, I just pray that we all learn to give it to God and trust Him. Honestly, no one wants the last straw. The last straw was the one that broke the camels back. It was one straw too many. I encourage you to remember that God WILL NOT put more on you than you can bear. Seek Him and trust Him. If a lot is happening to you, just know a breakthrough is closer than you may realize. You are stronger than you know and you got this! Someone before you survived worse and maybe, just maybe, you surviving this will be a benefit and blessing to someone else.

Sincerely,

Angie

#ThrowbackThursday: Love and the Last Rose Petal

Sincerely Angie1 Comment

Post originally written June 2023.

The beauty in flowers run deep.

The beauty in love runs deeper.

They bud, sprout, bloom then wither away.

Love begins, learns, grows, thrives and sometimes fades away.

Most roses are cut from their natural habitat and placed or grown in a nursery to be selected and given to someone special.

Most loves will catch you off guard and sweep you off your feet by someone who is willing to give you to someone who can take really good care of you until the right one comes along.

Whoever receives the roses, knows that the time they have together will be short.

Some loves know that they are only here for a short while.

Yet, they still give it food, fresh water and clip the stems to prolong their life.

So they still fall in love, operate in love and enjoy this love for as long as they can.

The once closed rose starts to open and bloom beautifully, although it’s fate is imminent.

Love makes you glow and grow differently. Although you can’t help who you fall in love with and some times that love isn’t meant to last forever.

As time passes, leaves and petals start to wither and fall away from the stem.

The growing pains of love start to chip away at what was once so beautiful.

There’s still beauty in the rose despite what it has sacrificed.

The beauty in love are the lessons learned.

The recipient of the selfless rose has been blessed by its beauty.

Love is still beautiful despite the using and abusing that sometimes goes with it.

The rose fell apart slowly and lasted as long as it could.

Lovers try to stick it out but at some point, a separation is inevitable.

The rose is down to the last rose petal.

Love has its last straw. The pain is too much to bear.

The caretaker decides to repay the rose by propagating it and creating a whole new rose bush from the stems of the roses that sacrificed their life for the pleasure of the caretaker.

Even though this one love ended, the beautiful thing about love is that you love, learn and love again. Each time more beautiful than the last.

When I thought of the title “The last Rose Petal”, Teyana Taylor was set to do a tour by the same name and I was listening to a sermon/motivational video on YouTube. The premise of the video was about letting go. So in a roundabout way, this post is a metaphor for letting go and starting over. What you once thought may have been the end, was blessed by a new beginning. Everything you have gone through was only preparation for a bigger and better version of you. Embrace the journey. Your hurt, pain and sacrifice will be the blessing you needed to get you to your heart’s desire. Although deep down inside we know that some things won’t last long, we put time, maybe even too much time, and energy into them. I believe it’s in our nature to try to prolong the inevitable. Our efforts won’t go unnoticed. It speaks to our character and tenacity. It shows that although this thing was only in your life for a season, you took care of it to the best of your ability. – Just My Thoughts