life

Thankful for Healing

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“There’s only so much healing that can be done in isolation. You have to be triggered by the real world to see if the healing works.” -Crissle

I told y’all a few posts ago that I am finding out a lot about myself in this season of my life. I was always sure of who I was/am. Not in the sense that I can’t learn more about me but I thought that at the core of me, I knew me. Well little did I know, it would be “AI” to show me, that I, indeed have work to do. Deep rooted childhood work.

There’s a trend on TikTok of mostly women, using Gemini(AI) to merge pictures of current them, hugging their younger self. I love me so much that I thought it would be great to see a picture of little me and big me in one picture. Baby, little did I know, little me needed that hug I saw in the picture. Of course it’s AI but I’m a visual person, so, I sobbed. I sat with a friend and shared it with them also and I sobbed even more.

Even though I am the “strong one”, behind these walls, rests someone who is indeed vulnerable and has questions that need answering. I’d say 25 year old me to 41 year old me has life under control. Twenty-four year old me on back, needs a bit of clarity. Forty-one year old me is secure, confident, loyal, at peace, happy, content, growing, learning, living by faith, comfortable, stable, trustworthy and so much more. But there’s a part of me that was triggered by that picture. Now I have to get with her and see why and what she has to say.

You can navigate the world so much better when you are in charge of you, your emotions and your well being. It’s easier to have compassion and sympathy for others when you realize that every day is a journey and everything is not a personal attack. This understanding and knowing comes from learning yourself and having grace. So here I am, doing both, learning myself and giving myself grace. There’s no way you can know that there is a part of you that’s hurting and you do nothing to fix it. Let the healing begin! #HappyHealing

  • Part of this post was written months ago. It wasn’t until recently that I read it and decided that now is the perfect time for it.
  • I read a book on Inner Child Work, you can check it out here. It’s an e-book that was written by my Therapist cousin Arianne Washington with Elite Therapy. Visit https://www.elitetherapy.love/

Sincerely,

Angie

The Last Straw

Sincerely AngieLeave a comment

If you read my last post, I briefly spoke of the last straw. Well, considering Tyler Perry’s latest movie Straw, I figured I’d go ahead on and drop a few lines on Straw and the double entendre of it all.

For the movie Straw, I get it. Women, specifically Black Women are tired and at their breaking point and the next incident to happen, could be the very last straw. The straw that breaks the camel’s back. To summarize in a few sentences or a few breaths, A single mother loses her child, her mind, her car, her job, her apartment, and essentially her freedom, all in the course of 24 hours. And because it was so much happening, all of it was probably not to the extent she imagined in her head. Because at some point, she was merely just existing and not present mentally.

While I pray to never be able to relate to this black woman trope, I know that when it rains it pours. And I don’t know anyone personally or even heard of any one person going through that much trauma in 24 hours. Over the course of a month or year, maybe even a few weeks but never 24 hours. Regardless of the time frame, I understand that life happens and not everyone is built like Job from the Bible. I haven’t experienced the level of trauma that Janiyah(Taraji P. Henson) or many other women have experienced. I also have a different outlook or perspective on life and life lessons.

Most things we encounter are happenstance while others are a direct consequence of our previous actions or seeds we’ve sown. Insert cliche here, “what goes around, comes around” “you reap what you sow” etc. So most times, if something happens, I imagine it’s happening for a reason. I believe that there is a lesson that will come out of the situation. I refuse to be a victim or have a “why me?” attitude. Maybe it’s my faith or maybe it’s my self proclaimed avoidant personality but either way, life is supposed to life. It is inevitable to go through life without some type of hardship. It’s all in how we handle what life throws us.

I am highly aware that everyone’s chemical makeup is different and our balances and imbalances cause us to react to negative things or trauma differently. I don’t expect people to respond how I respond. I accept life’s curveballs and handle them with grace. It’s no one’s fault, it’s no one’s responsibility, it’s mine. Don’t get it twisted, my mind is orchestrating a million scenarios but crashing out, is not an option. This is no shade to the person who does crash out. Our mental bars and/or limits differ per person.

The last straw for me, is just that, the last straw. Now it’s time to make a move, cut ties, sever the relationship, quit the job, move, etc. But what I refuse to do is take out my frustrations on innocent people. I’m not knocking anyone who has done that, I just pray that we all learn to give it to God and trust Him. Honestly, no one wants the last straw. The last straw was the one that broke the camels back. It was one straw too many. I encourage you to remember that God WILL NOT put more on you than you can bear. Seek Him and trust Him. If a lot is happening to you, just know a breakthrough is closer than you may realize. You are stronger than you know and you got this! Someone before you survived worse and maybe, just maybe, you surviving this will be a benefit and blessing to someone else.

Sincerely,

Angie

Forty Lessons I’ve Learned in 40 Years

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With age comes wisdom and no truer words were ever spoken. It’s been said that age is a construct and it’s just a number and I agree that it’s just a number. I don’t feel a day over 25. I feel like I look 25. My mindset is old enough to grant me wisdom and young enough to keep up with the times. I often sing Jay-Z and Beyoncé’s Forever Young when I think of age. You’re only as old as you feel. I know 75+ year olds that move around better than 30 year olds and I know 30 year olds that look and act like 60 year olds. You’re only as old or young as you feel!

Over the last few years, I have been focusing on self love, self awareness, peace, stepping out of my comfort zone, trying new things and letting go. In all of that, I’m learning a lot. A lot about myself, life, people, what’s important and what’s not important. Enough of the small talk, let’s get to the lessons.

Most of the things that I have learned has definitely been cliché but as you get older, you understand and respect the clichés. Mainly, because they’re true.

  1. Seek God. He never leaves us, we stray away from Him. When you seek Him out, He will speak to you.
  2. People are exactly who they say they are. They will also show you who they are. Believe them the first time.
  3. Make the days count, don’t count the days.
  4. If you really want to, you will. If they really want to, they will.
  5. Give freely way more than you receive and you will receive more than you give.
  6. Money isn’t everything but when you don’t have a lot of it, money is everything.
  7. Your reputation does precede you. Someone is always watching, even if you don’t notice them.
  8. When you love yourself, it shows in what you do and what you allow.
  9. Credit score can determine if you get the life that you want or the life that is given to you.
  10. Being tight fisted or close handed doesn’t give you room to receive.
  11. Happiness is truly an inside job.
  12. Peace is attainable. Life is for the living.
  13. The best place to start is small. Small steps lead to bigger ones.
  14. There is beauty in everything and a lesson in everything.
  15. Trusting God is the hardest easiest work you’ll ever do.
  16. Just do it. Whatever you want to do, do it! Anything is possible.
  17. Rest/naps are blessings to your mind, body and spirit.
  18. No matter what you do, it’ll never be good enough for someone. You can’t please everyone.
  19. If you always do what you want to do in/at the moment and what feels right to you, you’ll never have regrets.
  20. Trust your gut, intuition, mind and heart. At least one of them has never led you astray.
  21. Everyone is dealing with something. It’s not always personal.
  22. You have the power to change your life with your thoughts, words and abilities.
  23. How you view you is not how everyone else views you.
  24. Feelings aren’t facts but feelings are valid.
  25. It all works out at some point. Everything is connected. It all lines up in the end.
  26. We never give ourselves enough credit. You’re actually better at something than you think.
  27. Everyone isn’t a hater, jealous or envious. Their admiration is just misplaced.
  28. Let it go. Majority of the time, it’s not worth the time you spent worrying about it or holding on to it.
  29. Some people will hurt you and not think twice about it. Heal and appreciate the lesson learned.
  30. Accept and respect people for who they are and give them grace for who they are not.
  31. Take pictures to remember the moment but don’t forget to live in the moment and take it all in.
  32. Traveling exposes you to a whole new world, literally!
  33. Save your money now so that later, your money can save you.
  34. You are born with relatives, and you can choose your family.
  35. Remain solid even when everyone around you may be fickle.
  36. Think before you speak so that you can say what you mean and mean what you say.
  37. Take care of you, your body and things and they will take care of you.
  38. Perspective is the key to a positive life.
  39. Trusting God, being obedient and tithing are the cheat codes to a beautiful life.
  40. Life is everything that you make it. Make it beautiful. You’re in charge of it.

There are many more lessons but these, I feel, are the best for this time in my life.

Here’s what I got for my birthday! Thank you to everyone who blessed me with something.

Sincerely,

Angie