I’m one of those people who believes that there are three sides to every story, yours, mine and the truth. Recently, I’ve come to realize and accept that, that really just means, there’s the story we tell ourselves and then there is the truth. A therapist might tell you that “feelings are not facts”. So if you find yourself in a situation and you have to tell your side of the story, challenge yourself to see if you can leave your feelings out of it and just state what happened.
Life in 2023 requires a certain level of awareness. It’s almost impossible to operate haphazardly through life without being aware of your surroundings, your feelings, your abilities, others and even yourself. There are so many movements that have happened over the last five or so years. Movements such as self-love, healing childhood and past traumas, self-awareness, soft life, podcast discussions and debates galore. With all of these things becoming more and more popular, a sense of self awareness is coming over us. We start to self diagnose or label and/or realize why we are who we are and why we do what we do or even have a better understanding of why we’ve done what we’ve done.
If we have adapted these new awareness’s into our growth journeys, the next best thing to do is to learn grace and apply it. It has been said that we are all a villain in someone else’s story but we rarely admit, accept and acknowledge where that may actually be true. It doesn’t mean that we are all bad people, it may just mean that we have not been as kind, nice, forgiving, open, understanding or loving as we could have been in a persons life. No one is perfect so we should accept that and only strive to be the best version of ourselves and Christ-like where we can.
When life doesn’t go our way and people don’t or won’t do as we would like them to, they become a bad person, when in reality, they only did a bad thing. One bad action doesn’t make you a bad person, it just makes you a person who did a bad thing. We have to learn to separate the two because now a narrative is put in place that an action has made them a bad person. Hence what happened, versus what we told ourselves. Grace needs to step in and separate the person from the action. Give grace to the situation and make sure to look into the core of the person versus an action that left a bitter taste in our mouths.
It goes without saying that one action versus habitual actions will play a factor in the grace we give others. If someone lied to you once, that one time does not constitute that person to be a liar, but if they have lied continuously and habitually, then a liar can be attached to their character. If you got into a disagreement with someone and you were already having a bad day, you may have told yourself that the other party was wrong. On the flip side, you may have bled on someone who didn’t cut you, and they reacted. Then the story you tell yourself is that this person is just the worst person ever because of how they responded in relation to how you treated them.
If grace is applied, you forgive yourself for having a bad day and you apologize to the person your bad day affected. You understand why and how they responded the way they did, without allowing the incident to dictate who they are or have been to you and your life.
” In the fall, I usually host a business seminar and the audience is always eager and ready to make their mark. As the instructor, I am always ready to assist in this part of their business journey. As I walk in, I scan the room to see who’s here and what demeanor they’re giving off. I began by checking the registration list to see if the room matches the list. As I called the names out, I purposely made eye contact with each person in order to get name and faces together. I got towards the end of the list I noticed a woman we shall refer to as First Row Third Seat.
She seemed a bit shy but something about her said that she’s here on purpose. Little did I know, she would shed that shyness in the later weeks of the seminar. As the weeks pass by, First Row Third Seat opens up a bit more each week. Conversations after the lectures are brief but seemingly calculated. I wondered to myself, is it the purposely calling on her during the lecture or was there some other motive.
Conversations towards the end of seminar, shifted to activities outside of the lectures. We discussed some nightlife spots that could be enjoyed. Never once did it occur to me that I could run into her at any of the spots but again the shyness was disappearing and more comfort was being established. What occurred next really caused me to pay attention for the rest of the seminar. In walks First Row Third Seat, not like all of the other times I found her in class, slumped down in her chair trying not to be noticed. This time, she was in white jeans, a nice blazer and heels that made me pay more attention than I had ever before. Now you must understand that I couldn’t be obvious but I noticed everything from head to toe. She shared that after class that she had an engagement to attend. From this time forward she seem to be a natural in all of her interaction with me. Shyness was nowhere to be found.
The seminar was coming to a close and First Row Third Seat was still all smiles yet more and more she seemed comfortable interacting with me after each lecture. She reveals she needed to speak with me but not in the current setting. I would be naïve if I said I didn’t know what the conversation could be about but I decided not to assume anything or fill in the blanks for her. I suggested that we get together for drinks to discuss what was on her mind. We meet for drinks and for the second time since I have known her; her attire is eye catching. Only this time, there was no need to be reserved. I can really examine her from head to toe without worrying about it looking inappropriate. Her dress hugged all of the curves I had seen in those white jeans but this selection was by far her best selection to date. Unlike during the seminars, I was able to receive a hug that set the tone for the evening. I ordered drinks to lighten the mood so that the conversation and time spent could flow naturally. After ordering drinks, I simply couldn’t keep my eyes off her. I was hoping that I wasn’t making her feel uncomfortable with my purposeful stares. This lady had such beauty and class about herself, I couldn’t help but to admire her. This was not the woman that I saw at the beginning of the seminar. She was good at hiding all that she had to offer but I was even better at reading what she was hiding. Finally, I interrupt the purposeful stares and I ask First Row Third Seat what would you like me to know? She says, “you maintain eye contact with each of your attendees and I find it very sexy”. She also mentions that she finds me attractive. My response to her is, “Oh really?” She eagerly responds with a sexy and inviting “Yes.”
By this time, I really can’t keep my eyes off of her. Everything about her stands out from her beautiful slanted eyes to her mesmerizing smile. Very alluring yet subtly giving you just enough to cause you to want more servings of what she is serving. We are now in our comfort zone with more drinks on tap. We are closer than ever before. Her invites are classy and very calculated. My acceptance to her invites are purposeful with the intent to stay near for the rest of the night. We have company at the bar but my focus is on her. The closer I get the better the conversation becomes. I whisper soothing words in her lovely ears and her body tells me she is agreeing to my touch. I see the way she responds. Mentally she’s telling me to give her more and mentally I oblige.
Our company takes notice as soothing words escape First Row Third Seat with a luscious volume. Finally she has to excuse herself to regain composure because of the music we mentally created together. As she excuses herself I can’t help but to stare as she walked away. My mind is made up to continue on this journey to see more of what she had been successful at hiding. I can still smell her scent and definitely her mental aroma that had been oozing out since we hugged. She’s back but we really were just getting started. We both look at one another and we mentally connect as if we had never lost connection. It can be said that all good things must come to an end however we haven’t even started. Without saying it, we agreed to see one another again because clearly we had too much company, even though we were able to phase them out and make mental music.
We leave and I walk this ambitious, beautiful, calculated, confident, determined and everything you’d want in a woman, to her car. I remember her speaking briefly about PDA but I knew that I wouldn’t participate in that tonight. Nah, I wanted to continue and I thought PDA would ruin that. No, this woman was going to be respected tonight. There would be another time for that. So with no fanfare, a forehead kiss is placed above her pretty eyebrows. This seems to confuse her but her hug says next time will be different. The message conveyed to her is your mysterious and calculated approach will be respected and your comfort is important to me.
I call her and we have small talk until she makes it home but I can’t take my mind off of what her body said all night. Pull me close it whispered. I anticipated the next time by counting down the time. I had been intrigued by her mysteriousness since those white jeans and then the black dress was the signature invite I was going to use to get invited to this mental engagement. She makes it home safely and we say our good nights.
All I can say is Damn….. You never know. “
This was a fire read! Now I can’t wait to write another DAMN story. LOL!
**** This is a submission from a Sincerely Angie subscriber that was sent back in 2019. I am just getting around to posting it. If you would like to submit a blog post for the DAMN series, send a message through the contact page. ****
