Just because you never experienced something, doesn’t mean you can’t start today or that it’s okay to remain in “neverland.” Never, is a crutch that I don’t think we talk about enough. The word “never” can also keep us in bondage because “never” is such an absolute word. “I will never…” How do you know that life won’t force you to do what you never thought you would? I digress. I will speak on that side of never after I return from a solo trip I “never” thought about.
I talk often on many podcasts episodes and blog posts about my childhood and how I never grew up with love. But that never stopped me from wanting, showing and being the love that I wish I had as a child. In case you didn’t catch that, what I’m saying is, just because I never experienced it, doesn’t mean I can’t make a conscious decision to change that for my present and future. Ask my ex bf from when I was 19 years old. He will tell you how I operated in love at 19 without even really knowing what love was.
We are not all the same and we don’t get there at the same time but you shouldn’t be 40 still blaming your childhood on something you could have changed when you learned better or if you really wanted to.
On the job I’ve heard people say, “I was never taught that.” For me, I am a quick learner and I am inquisitive. If I see or hear of something I wasn’t aware of, I ask questions and research to learn more about it. Just because you weren’t taught it, doesn’t mean you can’t learn it when you hear about it.
Jesus, Google, Siri, Cortana and Alexa, are all available 24/7. They don’t have off days. They are just one short call away. Utilize that.
Years ago an old friend of mine said that he wasn’t romantic because growing up he never saw romance in front of him. I was flabbergasted because in my mind I’m thinking, haven’t you watched TV, movies and/or heard R&B music??? Romance is everywhere. Just pay attention, try and apply what you see or hear and see what sticks. It’s a choice to remain where you are because the crutch is so much better than the discomfort of trying something new or different.
I’m not perfect nor am I striving for perfection. I just want us to be more self-aware of excuses and crutches that hinder us from growth and a victim mindset. We can all point out areas where we didn’t know something and willingly pursued it. We just have to be more adamant about being that way in other areas of our lives and setting fear to the side.
Sincerely,
Angie
