Sincerely Angie

You know the running joke on social media that says, “I’m not rich because my momma permed my hair when I was four.” or “I am single because my momma permed my hair when I was younger.” Essentially, the point of the joke is to blame your mother perming/relaxing your hair on something totally unrelated to a perm/relaxer or your hair.

It’s truly all fun and games until placing blame on everyone else, is a way of life for you. Don’t worry, any one who this applies to won’t recognize it at first. It takes self evaluation and working on yourself to recognize the signs. Some people never get there. Some get there after an aha moment. Some learn it through therapy. The point is to take ownership and hold yourself accountable just as you would do to someone else.

It’s easy, and I mean super easy to point the finger at someone else and point out their flaws and faults but to own up and admit to your own is not the easiest thing to do. I can honestly say that it takes nothing away from you to admit you were wrong or at fault. Your pride or ego may be bruised but the peace and growth that comes from accountability will be worth it.

Story time: Soooo… over the last few weeks, God has been sending me signs that I need to STFU or choose my words carefully. Over the last few weeks, I’ve heard that I am judgmental, negative, think I know everything and a few other things. The consensus I gathered is that maybe I am not the easiest person to talk to. In the days leading up to these comments from others, I recorded a podcast episode and I was venting. After the first recording, I decided to not use that one because I felt like I was too negative and there was a nicer way to say what I said. I recorded it again the next day and my tone was different, all I needed to do was edit and upload it. Well, before I could edit, the revelations, signs and comments started coming in.

Thinking about the podcast episode and there I was, judging people. In my mind, I was thinking I was just venting about what I hate seeing online or in general but the topics I hit on, could actually hurt others. Even though, it’s just my opinion, I decided to not even put that energy out there. Instead, I took a step back and self reflected. I believe that people respect my opinion, it’s most likely my delivery that is off. Maybe it’s too logical, too real, too sarcastic or just plain ole judgmental. At the end of the day, I own up to my fault and flaws and I am working to be a better person. Pray for me y’all.

I recorded another podcast episode (you can listen here) and I am hoping that this goes over well. I am not trying to be a people pleaser or cater to the world, when I just want to be myself and accepted for who I am and not who people want me to be. I have since had reflective moments and reassurance that I’m not as bad as I think I am and those who get me, get me and those who don’t, well, they have or will GTF. My heart and intentions are pure. My self-awareness is present and open to make the necessary changes to be and do better. Each flaw has been accepted and if my flaws are able to be changed, I’ll work on them. If they can’t, I have accepted them and Thank God for them.

I deeply apologize if you have ever felt judged by me. I promise I am in no position to judge, I sin and fall short daily! I am no better than the next person. My intentions are pure and there is no gain for me in being malicious. I can and will admit that my statements, remarks, responses can come off as judgmental and in my human nature, I may default to judging but in my walk, I redirect my thoughts to be more understanding than judgmental.

Sincerely, Angie

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