I Love That for Me

Growing up, I never heard the words “I love you” in my household unless a few cases of beer were consumed and even that was usually followed by a laugh or it was said in a joking manner. I knew from watching movies and hearing stories from my peers, that I love you’s, should have been normal and shown with the actual words and actions. I don’t fault my mother for not saying it or showing it in a way that I deemed fit. I just made a choice at a young age to make sure that my future was filled with saying and showing those near and dear to me, that I loved them.

I know it may seem strange or odd for someone who didn’t grow up around love or hadn’t experienced love, to know how to give and receive it but anything is possible. I am not perfect but I learned as life went on, how to love and decided early on that I was open to receiving love. The true credit goes to God. At seventeen, I began going to church on my own to get to know God. In my getting to know God, I got an understanding of unconditional love. God is love. So essentially, know God, know love. That was the key that helped me to get to where I am today.

One of my exes told me that I had a creative love and many people have said that they felt comfort with me. While comfort doesn’t equate to love, there has to be a level of love and softness available for someone else nearby to feel comfort in your presence. I’ve made it a priority to tell those around me I love you on a consistent basis, especially my nieces. I’m still growing and learning but I am grateful daily for God and life lessons that make me greater in love.

I will forever remain open, hopeful and intentional when it comes to the matters of love. My heart will remain full of love. So much so, that there will always be an abundance or overflow of love around me. The love that I am giving myself today will be the same love that comes back to me 100 fold tomorrow and always. Just knowing that God’s love is ever present and unconditional, will fuel my heart for a lifetime and forever after that. I am so glad that I didn’t allow what I didn’t receive as a child dictate negatively how I operated in the future and I love that for me!