To listen to the podcast episode for Dear Standards, click here!
The irony of standards
Definition of standard
- a level of quality or attainment.
- an idea or thing used as a measure, norm, or model in comparative evaluations.
When it comes to dating, we all have standards, whether high or low. High standards to the point that they are almost unattainable and standards so low that they are almost non-existent. I had a conversation one day about standards with a member of the opposite sex and a question came to mind that hit me like a ton of bricks. What if you aren’t someone’s standard or you don’t meet their standards?
Now I know that we are not always someone’s cup of tea, but for me, I think very highly of myself. I’m God fearing, intelligent, humorous, mature, charismatic, a people’s person and beautiful inside and out, among so many other things. I consider myself a rare breed and top tier as it relates to what a man would want in a woman. So, the question, ‘what if you meet someone and as highly as you think of yourself, you are not their standard?” comes to mind. Like, what if they think that there is someone out there better than you? How Sway? Lol, but it really made me think.
Now, granted in relationships, we should find a mate that encourages and/or motivates us to be and do better but you never really think that of all of the qualities that you possess, they may not be up to par for someone. The irony!
Written on 12/25/17
Posted 3/16/18 @10:30pm
Ooh Chile! It was high time for a chit chat about the dating scene in 2021. Is it as ghetto as it seems on social media? Are we still blaming Coronavirus? Listen to this week’s podcast episode here!
It seems like people are literally just dating to post it on social media. Dating as in getting to know someone, going on dates and making it official. It starts in the DM’s, then the first date pressures then the time frame before making it official. If the DM seems post worthy for a good laugh, a meme or 15 seconds of fame, you can rest assured that a screenshot of it will find its way to a Shade Room type of page’s post. If the first date is not perfect, it’s blasted on social media. Lastly, if all goes well from start to finish, it’s posted on social media in a force fed fashion and if the relationship doesn’t last, we’re all left wondering what happened.
Tik Tok has brought a few dating horrors to the conversation table. There’s a trend, well seemingly a trend, of men flipping the script. They are not spending their hard earned $40 on a date if the woman is not putting out at the end of the night. So they are opting for dinner at their house or no date at all. If they make it out to eat, they’ll go Dutch when the bill comes.
I missed the memo on all of this and thankfully so. I can’t even begin to think about what I would do if the man who asked me out on a date, decided to eat 75% of his food then sent it back and had it taken off of the bill. Then tells me that I have to pay my portion because he didn’t eat anything. Like, what?!! Or even if the man brings a friend on the date and then runs out on the bill? Like what?!?!?
Let’s not get it twisted, men and women have been cutting up for years. Since the beginning of time we’ve been on some BS. Women wanting free meals and not actually liking the person they are going on dates with. Men only wanting to have sex, not even caring to know last names, etc. Since we know that we have been trash, what’s the excuse now? Is it a new generation thing? Is there hope for the dating future?
P.s. I know that all of the dating scene hasn’t been bad. I know that there are success stories out there. I pray that those and other relationships start/continue to flourish. Happy dating!